Hurtful Words – Watch Your Mouth
Do you have to apologize? Sometimes the hurtful words we speak remind us that we need God at work in our lives to change our hearts. Steph reminds you that you need to watch your mouth, and that we need God to purify our hearts.
Words We Speak
Matthew 12:33-37 (ESV) says,
Either make the tree good and its fruit good, or make the tree bad and its fruit bad, for the tree is known by its fruit. You brood of vipers! How can you speak good, when you are evil? For out of the abundance of the heart the mouth speaks. The good person out of his good treasure brings forth good, and the evil person out of his evil treasure brings forth evil. I tell you, on the day of judgment people will give account for every careless word they speak, for by your words you will be justified, and by your words you will be condemned.
The Bible overflows with passages that emphasize the importance of the words we speak. From Genesis, where God spoke creation into existence to Revelation 21:2-3, which says,
“And I saw the holy city, new Jerusalem, coming down out of heaven from God, prepared as a bride adorned for her husband. And I heard a loud voice from the throne saying, ‘Behold, the dwelling place of God is with man. He will dwell with them, and they will be his people, and God himself will be with them as their God.’”
God’s Word
The Scriptures are referred to as God’s Word, and Jesus Himself is referred to as the Word. And let’s not forget Proverbs 18:21 (ESV), which says,
Death and life are in the power of the tongue.
Hurtful Words
Think about that. Death and life . . . It may seem excessive, like a hyperbole, but it isn’t. Think of a time when someone said something kind, encouraging, and uplifting. How did it make you feel? Did it change your attitude? Your behaviour? Those kind words probably went on to indirectly encourage many others through you. Even if you didn’t repeat what was said, it likely affected the way you spoke to others.
And on the flipside . . . Think of the damage done by hurtful words, especially if they were spoken by someone you considered a friend, someone whose opinion you valued. Sadly, unkind words can end relationships or at least cause a rift that never quite disappears. If may feel like a little part—or a big part—of us has died. And when we’re in the midst of the hurt, we may be short tempered with others, which may, in turn, go on to affect those with whom they come into contact. And on it goes.
How often have you heard—or said—“I was only kidding”? We have to be careful about tacking this onto the end of an unkind comment. Perhaps we were only kidding, but often there’s at least a grain of truth in what we said. And even if we didn’t mean to hurt the other person, our hurtful words may weigh on them and cause pain we never intended to inflict.
What’s In Our Heart?
Let’s carefully consider the passage we read today. Our conversation, our words, are an indication of what’s in our heart. It’s so much easier to apply this to others, but as always, we must first examine our own thoughts, attitudes, and actions. Remember the warning in Matthew 7:1-5 to deal with the planks in our own eye before helping another remove the specks in theirs?
While we may learn to bite our tongue and control what we say—at least in certain situations, a good way to know what’s in our heart is to think about the first thing that comes to mind in a hurtful or frustrating situation—even if we don’t speak it aloud.
If negative thoughts come to mind on a regular basis, we must be willing to humble ourselves before the Lord and ask Him to do His work within us. The good news is this: If you feel bad about your negative thoughts and the hurtful words that sometimes escape your lips, it’s a good indication that God is at work within. This is the work of God’s Holy Spirit, who dwells within each believer in Jesus Christ.
Help is as close as a quick prayer:
God, forgive me. Heal any hurt I’ve caused. Help me do better next time.
Willing To Apologize
Of course, we have the responsibility to do what we can to make things right. We must be willing to apologize. And the especially tough part . . . we must be willing to ask for forgiveness even if our response was prompted by harsh words or foolish behaviour on the part of the other party. Plus, we must be willing to apologize without justifying our words and actions and assigning blame.
Now, there are many reasons we may have a knee-jerk reaction, at least in our thought life: lack of sleep, poor nutrition, worry, illness, etc. One or more of these things may be the reason we respond badly, but they are not excuses.
But that said, I want to encourage you—and myself. Nothing we discover about ourselves is news to God. And like I said before, if we feel convicted about something we’ve said or done, it’s a good indication the Lord is at work within us. Remember that He is not patient as we think of patience, He is longsuffering, the Olde English word that means patient. He doesn’t expect us to purify ourselves. He simply wants us humble ourselves and ask Him to do so . . . that and in His strength, seek to increasingly love Him and others in word and deed.
How do you deal with words that are hurtful? We would love to hear from you. Comment below or contact us at HopeStreamRadio.
Steph Nickel
Steph Beth Nickel is eclectically interested and eclectically involved. In all she does, Steph seeks to nurture and inspire. She is currently working on the first book in a nonfiction series. Nurture and Inspire LOVE is a compilation of the first devotionals she wrote for HopeStreamRadio.
Steph is a freelance writer and editor. She is the coauthor of Paralympian Deb Willows’ award-winning memoir, Living Beyond My Circumstances, published by Castle Quay Books. Deb and Steph are working on a follow-up book.
You can visit her website, stephbethnickel.com, to learn more about her.
Visit Steph’s contributor’s page or at Steph Nickel’s Eclectic Interests.
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Did You Hear? How Words Impact Our Lives
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Images Courtesy of:
Silver Heart – Mary Kikis
Angry Woman – Angel Norris
Ocean- MichealMode
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