Christian Caregiving – Part 1
In this series of posts, Bobbi Junior brings her unique perspective to bear on the subject of Christian caregiving. Being a caregiver is a tiring, challenging and demanding task, while caregiver burnout is a constant threat.
Self-care for Caregivers.
The other day I was asked to give input on Self-care for Caregivers. As a Christian, anything that begins with ‘self’ makes me hesitate. You may have heard preachers talk about this.
Self-centered vs. God centered.
Self-esteem vs. God esteem.
Self-worth vs. God worth.
Self-reliance vs. God reliance.
But self care matters when you’re a caregiver. It really does. I wondered if I could find any direction in scripture when it came to self-care for those who are caregivers.
Caring For a Paraplegic
First, let me explain my qualifications in this area. A number of years ago I was unexpectedly ripped from my challenging, but manageable role as Mom of 2 teens, to become caregiver of a newly disabled 15 year old. As the result of a car accident, our young daughter was left a quadriplegic.
The learning curve was beyond steep. Much of the time I was hanging from the cliff by my fingernails, trying to find any kind of footing, no matter how narrow the ledge.
Today, Draya has been in a wheelchair as long as she was walking. I have distance from that caregiving period, but none of it is forgotten.
Does Jesus Have Anything To Say?
So when this question about self-care arose, I decided to take a look at the life of Jesus. I mean, he is the ultimate caregiver, right? I wanted to see if his actions would give me some ideas on the topic.
For an hour I flipped through Matthew and Mark, and was surprised at how much came to mind.
This isn’t a theological discussion by any means, and I’m not saying my conclusions were our Lord’s motivation for his actions or lessons. But reading about how Jesus managed in his high-pressure, high-demand season of ministry brought to mind a lot of things I learned in my own high-pressure, high-demand season of caregiving.
Our Family Experiences
In the next few posts, I’d like to share with you stories of our family’s experiences when Draya broke her neck and we were catapulted into the world of caregiving and disability. We’ll look at different scriptures from the Gospels and see how Jesus did indeed set an example that those of us in our season of caregiving can follow.
The first thing I noticed was this.
Other People Want To Protect You.
In Mark 3:21 we read how Jesus’ family came to take charge of him. Matthew takes the story a little further in Chapter 12, pointing out that Jesus chose not to go with his mother and brothers.
Well-intentioned people did this with me as well. They decided how I needed to be cared for, and tried to insist that I comply. One particular day when our daughter was still in ICU, a friend said she was taking me to her house for lunch. “Just for an hour,” she said. “I live 5 minutes away.”
I didn’t have the strength to say no, and for just an hour? Well, okay.
Back to the Hospital
Almost four hours later she brought me back to the hospital. I’m sure she believed that getting me away, telling me about her family, and showing me pictures of her many vacations was a good distraction in a time of stress. She had no idea how anxious I was, though, being away from my daughter. Draya was paralyzed and helpless. She didn’t know the staff yet, and neither did I. She and I both needed me to be with her.
So don’t assume you know what the caregiver needs. Ask. Don’t tell.
For me, I felt like I’d been kidnapped. Caregivers need to either be with their recipient, or know that person is well cared for. Taking me away from my daughter to give me a break at that early stage, was worse than no break at all.
Do you have a story about caring for someone? We would love to hear from you. Comment below or contact us at HopeStreamRadio.
Read Part 2 here.
Bobbi Junior
Jesus drew Bobbi Junior to himself in 1996, as she entered the darkest period of her adult life. He loved her through clinical depression, an accident that left her daughter a quadriplegic, and a difficult season of caring for her mother who suffered from dementia.
Bobbi said Jesus caught her and taught her and brought her through the darkness as only a Saviour could. She wrote and spoke on the value of suffering, lessons learned, and caregiving. Bobbi lived in Alberta, Canada with her husband and near her two adult children. Read her blog and download a chapter of her book, The Reluctant Caregiver at bobbijunior.com
Bobbi went home to be with the Lord November 30, 2020 and will be missed by her family, friends and followers.
Bobbi’s program, “Not Me Lord” airs on HopeStreamRadio.
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Images Courtesy of:
Photo of woman courtesy of: loleia
Caregiver image courtesy of: public domain pictures
Wheelchair image courtesy of: Gabriel Doyle
Feet in wheelchair image courtesy of: stevepb
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