How do you react when you disagree with someone? Brad takes a look at Romans 14, reminding us to respect each other, and “be mindful of the things which cause our brother offense.”
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Roll Up The Rim
My mom was at Tim Hortons a few weeks ago. A frequent spot for her like so many. Tim’s celebrated 50 years in 2016, and have branded themselves one cup at a time, into the hearts, minds and pocket books of Canadians. If you Google the words “double double”, the Urban dictionary is the first thing to pop up, declaring the meaning as a way Canadians order coffee.
In rural towns, it’s very common to see many of the same faces gathered at Tim’s. Recently, my Mom sat at a table with a friend she knew from our community, who was sitting with two elderly sisters. Mom had met them before on a couple of occasions. These sisters are dear Christian ladies, that like so many, enjoy socializing over a cup of coffee. Mom noticed though, that the sisters’ cups, were the regular version, and not the “roll up the rim to win” cup which are easy to spot. Mom said “Hey, they didn’t give you a roll up the rim cup. Do you want me to go back up to the counter for you? One of the sisters replied, “we always ask for regular cups, cause we don’t gamble”. Our mother always told us not to gamble, so we don’t bother with the roll up the rim thing.
Mom was rather surprised, and rather amused at the same time. But she of course, respected the ladies wishes, and made light of the fact that she herself would, in a few minutes, roll up the rim of her cup to see what treasure might be hiding underneath.
Remember To Respect Each Other
Romans 14 is a chapter, rich on instruction in personal graces. It as well, reminds us not to do anything that potentially grieves a fellow believer, whereby thy brother stumbleth, or is offended, or is made weak.
But, we must apply Christian common sense, and personal discernment, as the spirit gives us ability. Cleary, the act of gambling, is not something that Christians should uphold. But, purchasing a product, with the added benefit of potentially receiving a free gift, is just that. You’ve purchased a product. You’re using it, and enjoying it. It’s the fundamental reason for you shelling out $1.50. Anything that comes as a free gift, is just a bonus. The coffee is the motivation.
Now it was right of course, for mom to respect the ladies perspective, and not get into a dispute over the definition of a wager but I believe mom, who would later be rolling up the rim of her coffee cup, was not guilty of causing these sisters to stumble. And they were in no way implying that. They respected moms liberty to enjoy her coffee, and the potential of winning a prize.
Be Mindful
But mutual respect, or the same understanding of what a personal liberty is, is not always the case.
The book of Romans tells us to “be mindful of the things which cause our brother offense.” Consider Christians who drink wine. Of the many issues that divide Christians on their opinions on personal graces, drinking wine has undoubtedly factored among the most contentious. And we would say, that there is merit on both sides, to be of either persuasion. But, drinking wine is something that can cause thy brother to stumble, or to take offence. Paul calls it out. And Pauls’ instruction in that situation, is for us to respect our brother, refrain, in his or her presence. Personally, I don’t believe it means that wine in private, is sinful if, as Paul states, a person is fully persuaded in his own mind. Paul says, “Hast thou faith? Have it to thyself before God.”
Liberty And Personal Conviction
I believe, from Pauls’ same text in Rom 14. that “there is nothing unclean of itself: but to him that esteemeth anything to be unclean, to him it is unclean.” So this verse speaks of liberty, and personal conviction. What is ok for one (and we’re not talking blatant acts clearly defined as sin…adultery, drunkenness, theft etc.) will be deemed as inappropriate by another. We will encounter Christian brothers and sisters that esteem particular things to be unclean, or not behooving Christ like conduct, that stop us in our tracks, that surprise us. Like the rim on a Tim Hortons cup. Or a goatee?
Several years ago, a brother and I were talking about our similar facial hair style, each of us at that time sporting a goatee. He mentioned, he had been recently called out by a fellow believer, stating that goatees resembled the devil. Should he have shaved it off, that the sister, in this case might not be offended?
Let’s use the old term “devil’s advocate”, and consider for a moment if there is merit in the need of pulling out our razor, lest we offend our brother, or in this case, our sister.
1. Apart from artists’ depictions, there is nothing said in the Bible, indicating that Satan has a goatee
2. Did we grow our goatee for the purpose of imitating Satan? Heaven forbid. If we did, then our head and heart are certainly in a dark place, and YES, shave it off!
3. Undoubtedly, our goatee was grown; like most facial hair, as a means of taking a rest from shaving, or to change it up, or maybe even to conceal a scar or onset double chin.
So. Is there merit in this being called into question?
Well, in answer to this; and in defense of not having to play dodgeball every other day, at things that one might see as unclean, I apply Pauline wisdom to the other side, to the one who judges- “Why dost thou judge thy brother? Or why dost thou set at nought thy brother”? If we are each esteeming the other above ourselves, the small things, the sometimes even imagined things will become as mute points.
Our actions, our motives, our intentions need to be centered around behavior that bears out respectable, honest testimony to the faith whereby we are called. We all need to be daily, examining ourselves, in light of the character and the person of Jesus Christ.
Seek The Lord’s Spirit To Respect Each Other
Many of us have experienced firsthand, the devastation that worms its way into a church body, when a group of believers becomes divided on an issue, or set of issues. Not even issues of doctrine. Many times, division stems from judgements being passed regarding personal graces of members within the congregation. Little specs, that become huge boards, affecting the entire local fellowship.
Now there are of course bold and visible offences that we must always call out, and guard against. The bible is very, very clear, when it speaks of disciplinary action that’s required, for offenses that are in need of being unequivocally addressed. Ongoing acts of adultery, drug use, offences such as these result in one being asked to leave the fellowship, but with the prayerful intent that they might at some point, with a repentant spirit, be restored.
Paul said, that he withstood Peter to the face, because Peter was sending out mixed messages, acting one way when he was with gentiles, acting another way when among those from the Jewish faith. It says even Barnabus was “carried away by the dissimulation” Peter was causing.
The last thing we want to see happen, as a result of ANY behavior we have demonstrated, is for others to be “carried away, offended, or setback,” by our actions. Where small differences in opinion are involved,thoughts on personal conviction vs personal liberty, it’s so important that each seek the Lord’s spirit to respect the other, to be sensitive to each viewpoint.
Be Mindful Of Your Fellow Believers
Might we consider our brother in respect to the display of liberties we enjoy under God’s grace. And we pray as well, we and all believers will be mindful not to pass unwarranted judgement on the things others hold as acceptable in their personal walk of faith.
Of course, disputations about rolling up the rim of a Tim’s cup, or implications of a goatee I would trust, could be chalked up to minor differences in opinion, and should never become bones of contention between us.
In Romans 14:19 Paul says: “Let us therefore follow after the things which make for peace, and things wherewith one may edify another.” That in all things, Christ will be glorified.
Brad Hewey
Brad offers up practical, scriptural advice from a perspective borne out of everyday life encounters. As we live and move and have our being…it’s the individual life lessons that most often present the greatest challenges, but can yield the richest blessings. We’ve all, as Christians had those faith affirming moments, where we’ve had an overwhelming sense of God’s spirit, or his very presence “at a particular but, maybe random time”.
Brad was born and still resides in a small community in the Annapolis Valley of Nova Scotia, where he and his wife Karen raised their 3 children. Brad & Karen fellowship at the Greenland Bible Chapel, where Brad serves as an elder.
Brad loves meeting and engaging with people. His background in sales has provided opportunities to travel throughout the US and Canada, networking with people from all walks of life. Brad is a singer/songwriter, and has recorded 3 Christian albums. Songs from his “Brighter Day” release, have aired on Christian Radio stations across Canada and two of Brad’s albums are on HopeStreamRadio’s playlist.
Images Courtesy Of:
Freedom- rawpixels
Coffee- Polymanu
Goatee- carbhangal
Silhouette- Unsplash
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